Still holding fast; not sure why; got to the gym all five days again and tried to pay attention to my eating. Oh, well. I have other things on my mind right now.
Winter’s last hurrah has arrived. It is snowing with a vengeance and we are supposed to get about a foot, I think. Life grinds to a halt with a state of emergency and a Level 1 driving restriction. It rained before turning into snow, so DelDOT couldn’t pretreat the roads since the brine would have just washed off. Tonight the temps are supposed to freefall into single digits, which will render road salt pretty much useless. Tomorrow morning should be interesting. I call this winter’s last hurrah because today is March 3rd. Spring should be right around the corner, right?
The first anniversary of my mother’s passing is fast approaching. On the one hand, this is going to be a rough few days. We may as well face it – the beginning of March will never be our favorite time. On the other hand, there is something about getting through the first year. At least I think so. I’m feeling close to normal for the first time in a long time. It’s not that my behavior has been much different. I haven’t lost my sense of humor or moped around. But for the past year the realization that Mom is not there to share things or to give advice will suddenly intrude on my thoughts. I’m sure it is cue driven. When my son got his new job the first thing I wanted to do was call Mom and tell her. Of course, I quickly realized I couldn’t and I got that hollow feeling in my core; that feeling of being helpless.
I’m sure all my siblings have been experiencing something similar; to a greater or lesser degree; tailored to each personality. We will support each other, as always, and we will get through this together. I’m feeling like this may be a new beginning, and I hope my family is sensing the same thing.
Sitting here watching the snow, I see several bright red male cardinals at the feeders. They look very fat and puffy, fighting the snow and cold wind. I also see gold finches and titmice. I think the squirrels are hiding, keeping warm. The wind is kicking up, blowing snow off the roof in great white clouds. After this storm, some bitter cold and then, perhaps, spring will finally try to establish itself.
Until next week…..